Day 1
We rented an art deco theatre. It took us three hours to realise it didn't exist. We carried on: the deposit was already paid.
How it was made
Diary of a shoot that never happened. All of this is a lie. So is the rest.
Day 3
The audience arrived on time: twelve hundred extras, none of whom exist. They got paid anyway. Don't ask.
Day 9
We ran out of whisky on take 46. There was no whisky. There was no take 46 either.
Day 14
Granada, 1492. We asked Isabella of Castile for permission. She left us on read.
Day 21
The lead actress broke. Don't worry: she's porcelain, and it was in the script.
Day 30
Last day. The one with the beard said «done». The one with the bun asked for three more versions. The bun won. The bun always wins.
Crew
- Gaffer
- The sun, when it feels like it
- Script supervisor
- We forgot
- Catering
- Squid sandwiches, in theory
- Stunt doubles
- None. Nobody took any risks
- Animals harmed
- None. There were no animals
- Department of Truth
- Empty. Opening hours: never
Want to know how it's really done?
Talk to us. We won't tell you even if you get us drunk, but we'll make you one.
Tell us your lie